How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
