Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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