I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm drive I can fine osifer
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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