White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
