I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Life is so much better after having sex.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
