Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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