If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
