so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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