R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I want to make a zoo with you.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
