Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Can Purell be used as lube?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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