gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
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