She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
