worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
