youre lurking in front of me
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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