remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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