I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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