i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
