I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
