apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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