Dual....:-)
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
They have beer where we have blood.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
