Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize