I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
