As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
