Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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