exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
