Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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