my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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