they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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