It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
