The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
