You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
