Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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