So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The power of my boobs compel you
did i just pee glitter
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
