Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I cannot find my penis.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
