In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
