Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
