You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
