Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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