youre lurking in front of me
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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