tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
