"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
