she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize