I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
