I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
