Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
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