He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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