She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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