Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
