when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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