Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
