i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
