Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
