Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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