Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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