I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
