Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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