Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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