Where did you get a picture of my penis
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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