It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize