Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
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